Sleeping habits

Lately, I've been addicted to dreams.

The habit started a little over a year ago during first semester senior year. I started having really vivid, colorful dreams, the kind that you wake up and never want to forget, but inevitably do. I usually wake up in a semi conscious state and drift away the next one or two hours daydreaming. No matter what activity I have planned for the morning, or what work needs to be done, I almost always make excuses: "O I can get that done in half an hour, I don't really need to get up now" "O I don't have to do that today..." I long for an extra moment to spend in an adventurous, imaginary world.

Here's what Anne Bogart learned from her new production of "Midsummer Night's Dream":

I think what I've learned is that when we go to sleep we all become fairies. That we lose the limitations of the body. So fairy is the other side of the day. That's what I've learned in rehearsal.


Perhaps this tells me something. I'm not happy with my present situation in the real world, so I long for fake one.

When I actually do get up (at the last possible minute), I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and pledge to get up early tomorrow morning.

But the cycle repeats.

To make matters worse, I have this nasty habit of going to bed at 3 or 4am every night. There were days where the night seemed long and I thought of 5am as a deep part of the night that no one ever saw. But nowadays I am as familiar with 5am as I am with 5pm.

Although I blame myself, the hours of my job to have an effect on me. I come to work around 2pm and usually leave around 9 or 10pm. Naturally, I'm tired when I get home after working with kids all day. But taking a nap means death. If I fall asleep, that means my entire sleep schedule will suffer, and I'll be right back to going to bed at 5am, waking up at 1pm, losing half the day.

This must stop.

Last week I made a change. I've been exercising several times a week since December, usually at night after work. Finally realizing how crazy this behavior is, last week I forced myself to get up one hour early (11am) and exercise for 40 minutes. I did this four times last week and had an overwhelmingly good response. I entered work energized and with ceaseless positive attitude. Better still, I'm sufficiently tired by 1am, and last night I got to sleep around 2am. My ultimate goal is 10am and I think I can do it.

But I will still daydream. In an effort to pour more art into my life, I bought a poster of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and hung it over my bed. I've spent well over an hour at a time staring at this painting, following my thoughts as I race through time, pondering memories of the past and present. Day-dreaming really has become a drug for me, ha.